[Reposted with editing from my SFF Net newsgroup]

So a few days ago, being momentarily caught up on lots of stuff, and with a mix CD Karen Taylor had given me years ago playing in the background, I decided I could take a moment to listen to the music.

And the music was “Breathe,” by Maria McKee, which is heartbreakingly beautiful, and I decided I needed to add the album where it originally appeared to my collection.

So I went to CD Universe (my preferred music source, and if anyone ever wins the lottery by playing the ISBN number off one of my books and decides to reward me for it, I have a public wish list there) and looked up Maria McKee…

Well, first, actually, I searched on the song lyrics, to get title and artist, because I wasn’t sure I remembered them. Found it easily (very memorable lyrics), then went to CD Universe and looked up Maria McKee.

They didn’t list a lot of albums for her; in fact, they don’t list the only one I already have. I looked through the listings, and only found “Breathe” on live albums and “best of” collections.

I thought I must have missed something, or maybe she’d recorded it when she was still with Lone Justice, so I chose “song” and searched on “Breathe.”

Oh my gods!

There are 326 listings for songs entitled “Breathe.” I knew there were others, but 326? Yes, there are multiple versions of lots of songs, but still, 326 listings!

There’s Pink Floyd’s and Collective Soul’s and Depeche Mode’s and Melissa Etheridge’s and Kylie Minogue’s, all of which, I realized, I knew. Not to mention Kate Bush’s “Breathing,” which did not come up.

And McKee’s first version still isn’t there, except as an import; it must be out of print. Sigh.

So I’ve added her “best of” album to my wish list, and I went to check out the sample of “Breathe” from her “Live in Hamburg” album, and…

Again, my gods!

It’s the same song, the same voice, but very different and equally powerful. So now “Live in Hamburg” is on my list, too.

It’s interesting not only that there are so many songs called “Breathe,” but how many of them are good…

Some of you may be wondering why I went and set up this blog and almost never use it. Shouldn’t there be new posts every so often?

Yes, there should. And someday, I hope there will be.

Right now, though, I’ve got two books months past deadline — one I said I’d deliver by January 1, the other by the end of February — and I’m in the middle of serializing The Vondish Ambassador, and Helix requires my attention every so often, and so on and so forth, so I just haven’t found the time.

But I haven’t signed any new contracts or made any other promises beyond the three books in progress and one more essay for BenBella’s “Smart Pop” series, so I’m hoping to have a little more slack in the schedule by spring of ’07.

After twenty-four years of membership, I’ve resigned from SFWA.

Various people are upset with me about this, though in some cases I wonder why. Some people are also surprised by it, which is just ridiculous, as they’re clearly demonstrating that they can’t read plain English.

As the result of an incident several weeks ago, I said that I would not remain a member of SFWA if another person was a member.

I never said a damned thing about wanting anyone else to do anything about this. I never asked the president or the Board of Directors to do anything. I didn’t make any threats. I tried to make clear that this was an absolutely non-negotiable situation, plain and simple — I would not be a member of SFWA if he was.

At the time, he wasn’t, as he hadn’t paid his 2006 dues.

He paid them. SFWA accepted them. I resigned. Utterly straightforward and clear.

Since then, people have accused me of trying to blackmail the Board, or making unreasonable demands. I made no demands; I stated a fact. Several people seem convinced I had demanded his expulsion; I did no such thing. I’ve been told I demanded immediate action; I did not. I just said that if he was a member, I wasn’t.

At the request of friends I held back my resignation until the Board had considered the matter and his dues check was deposited, but there was no way I could in good conscience remain once that money was in the bank. I like to think I’m a man of my word.

Other people tried to talk me out of resigning by pointing out that the Board had created this ferocious new penalty of formal censure and applied it to him. Wasn’t that enough?

Well, no. I never said he should be punished. I don’t care whether he’s punished. I don’t care whether he’s painted green and forced to dance atop the Superdome. I said I could not be a member if he is. Censured or not, he’s a member again, so I’m not.

I don’t appreciate being offered ways to weasel out of my given word; it implies I can be weaseled out of a promise. I don’t want to be appeased. I don’t want compromise. I don’t want anything from SFWA — except out. If SFWA will allow him to be a member, then it is not an organization I am willing to belong to.

If SFWA is run by people who think they can talk me into breaking my word, then SFWA is not an organization I am willing to belong to.

If it seems as if I’m pounding this into the ground, well, yes. I’m tired of being misunderstood, of having my position misstated, of having people offer excuses and compromises, of having people doubt my word.

I’m tired of SFWA.

I’ve put up with a lot from SFWA over the years; all in all, the organization does a great deal of good. The Grievance Committee is invaluable, the Emergency Medical Fund has been a godsend for many people, and the social value is undeniable — writers lead strange lives, and it’s good to have a way to meet other people who understand that lifestyle. So I’ve tolerated sloppiness and foolishness and cowardice, always telling myself that it’s just a few individuals, just the current officers, whatever.

But I’ve had enough. Other writers’ organizations kick out people when necessary, but SFWA, in forty-two years of existence, has never had the gumption to police itself. Members have lied and swindled and cheated, and yet SFWA has never expelled anyone, has never refused membership to anyone who had the necessary credentials. When someone ignores copyright to quote members out of context without permission, taking material from an area that specifically says “permission to quote is expressly denied,” editing it to maximize its controversial nature, and posting it on his blog for the sole purpose of making SFWA look bad, with comments implying that the most extreme bits (made by someone who most of SFWA considers an outcast and troublemaker) represent the mainstream of SFWAn opinion, and is still permitted to rejoin — not remain a member, but rejoin — that’s the final straw.

So goodbye, SFWA. It was fun.

I’ve started serializing The Vondish Ambassador.  There’s a link to it over there on the right.

I am once again attempting to bring order out of chaos, this time by merging as many of my blogs and discussion areas as possible into one. SFF Net has been kind enough to add WordPress capabilities, so I’ve transferred the contents of Strange Days and the old Blogger version of The Mind Control Lasers Lied to Me into my nice new WordPress files as categories.

Theoretically it should be possible to import my LiveJournal files as well, but I haven’t yet made that work, so there’s a link to Luncheon ex Machina, instead. And there’s a link to the Guestbook, and to the Discussion area on my webpage that works as a front end for a newsgroup.

So it’s all right here, and the theory is that when I have something to say, I’ll post it here. The Blogger and LiveJournal blogs are now officially abandoned.

There’s an RSS feed and everything.