Assassin in Waiting

Another one from the Bound Lands — set in Ermetia this time.

Prince Dalvos was late – or at any rate, he had not come. Since there had been no specific appointment he was not exactly late, but Burren had expected him to appear at more or less the usual time and place, and was slightly puzzled that he had not.

He had nothing better to do with himself, so Burren strolled down from the terrace outside his apartments, into the gardens, along the back route that Dalvos would most likely have taken from the royal compound at Heathertop if he had indeed come. Burren half-expected any minute to see the prince trotting along the path, calling out a greeting and apologizing for his late arrival.

He ambled down past the tea garden and through the trellis gate, then turned onto the hedge-rose path. At the arcade he paused, considered for a moment settling on one of the stone benches – but he had not brought a book, and simply sitting did not suit his present mood. Instead he strolled down the steps to the herb garden and steered himself toward the willow grove beside the duck pond.

Around him the bees bumbled and beetles clicked and buzzed; leaves rustled in the warm and gentle breeze, and every so often a snippet of birdsong trailed by. The day was far from silent. The realization that a human voice was mixed in the springtime hum was slow and gradual, but at last unmistakable – someone was in the willows, talking quietly.

Burren had no desire to intrude on anyone’s privacy, and called out, “Ho, there!”

Willow branches whickered, and shadows moved amid the greenery, but no one replied. Burren frowned slightly. There were a thousand innocent explanations possible, but the chance that this reticence was an indication of guilt could not be denied. Thieves and poachers were not unheard of here, though his father’s estates were less troubled than most.

Burren considered calling out again, but shrugged and began whistling instead. If the voice was that of a trespasser, Burren would give him a chance to flee – but would not let him be.

The willow rustled again, but no one fled.

Burren strolled nonchalantly forward, around the drooping branches, and found his prey – Prince Dalvos was there, leaning one outstretched arm against a willow tree, his back to Burren, his attention firmly fixed on Tira, the chamberlain’s daughter. Tira stood with her back against the trunk of the tree, Dalvos’ arm blocking her escape on one side. Her skirt was twisted somewhat awry, and one hand was clutching it, trying to straighten it, while the other was on Dalvos’ chest.

She did not look as if she were enjoying the prince’s attention.

“Prince Dalvos!” Burren called out, “What a pleasant surprise!”

Reluctantly, Dalvos turned his head.

“Hello, Burren,” he said. “What brings you down this way?”

Burren saw the expression on Tira’s face, and quickly concocted a lie.

“I was looking for your companion, I’m afraid,” he said.

Tira blinked at him in surprise. “Me?” she squeaked.

“What do you want with her?” Dalvos asked, startled.

I don’t want anything with her,” Burren said hastily. “It’s Megrin the witchwoman who wants her.”

Dalvos straightened up and dropped his hand. “The witchwoman?”

“Apparently young Tira has been assisting her in her witchery,” Burren said.

“Really?” Dalvos turned back to Tira.

“That’s right, your Highness,” Tira said quickly. Her performance didn’t strike Burren as entirely convincing, but Dalvos didn’t seem to notice anything wrong. “I fetch her the powders and herbs, and stir the kettle.”

“And Megrin wants her to come help with the stirring right this moment, I believe.”

“Then of course she must go,” Dalvos said, stepping away from the tree.

“Thank you, your Highness,” Tira said. She tugged her skirt back where it belonged, then gathered it up above her ankles and hastened away, running up the path toward the palace. She glanced back over her shoulder as she left the grove and threw Burren a quick smile.

“A pretty little thing, isn’t she?” Dalvos asked as he watched her flee. “I must say, Megrin’s timing might have been better.”

“Witchwomen are notorious for their inconvenience,” Burren replied, stepping up to the prince’s side.

“True enough,” Dalvos agreed. He turned and slapped Burren on the shoulder. “Well, at least this means I see more of you today than I had expected, so it’s not all bad. How goes it with you today?”

“Oh, quietly, my prince, quietly,” Burren said. “I was glad of an errand to run.”

“Were you, indeed? Then perhaps I can assign you another. That wench has my blood running hot – do you think you might find some other who could cool it? This is your town, not my own, and I know little of its hidden ways.”

Burren hid his distaste at this bald request; he was a duke’s son, not a pimp or procurer. “Not at this hour, Highness,” he said. “It’s yet morning, and the nightbirds fast asleep.”

“Ah, then I must suffer a few hours more, I suppose.”

“Or find another means to cool your ardor, perhaps.”

“Perhaps.” Dalvos turned away. “Come, let’s go up to your father’s palace, and see what amusements await us there.”

“As you will, my prince.” Burren followed as Dalvos headed up out of the willows.

Mirrors and Shadows

I have a dream. I dream that someday, someone will actually comment on something I post here.

Meanwhile, this is the opening of a story intended to be the first volume of a contemporary fantasy trilogy.

Alicia awoke coughing.

She was sitting up in bed, coughing uncontrollably, before she opened her eyes and saw the smoke. It was everywhere, surrounding her; her room beyond the bed was a vague blur. Her eyes widened, and she called, “Mom!”

She didn’t wait for an answer; she rolled out of bed and stooped down, trying to stay below the smoke, the way they had taught in safety class back in grade school. She pulled open a bureau drawer and grabbed a pair of panties, wriggled into them, then hesitated, trying to decide what else to grab. Those long-ago lectures had said that the first priority was to get out, get out of the house before the heat and smoke could overcome you. Don’t stop for anything – get outdoors!

But she really didn’t want to wind up standing on the lawn in nothing but black lace panties and an old Nirvana T-shirt.

She coughed again, and looked around, trying to see where the smoke was coming from, and where her best escape route might be. She didn’t see any flame, but the room was filled with smoke, rolling clouds of blue, gray, and black that seemed to be expanding downward, almost as if it was following her toward the floor. Even down on one knee as she was, she wasn’t below those billows. She couldn’t see the ceiling at all; the window was merely a paler patch of smoke.

But… Nirvana and black panties?

She didn’t see any flame, and she didn’t feel any heat. She knelt in front of the bureau and rummaged through the drawers, struggling not to cough as the smoke swirled around her.

If she was going to die of smoke inhalation, she told herself, she hoped it wouldn’t happen until after she got some clothes on.

Jeans! An old pair of jeans – those would do. She pulled them on, then groped for the door. At the last second she remembered the old instructions and put a hand to the wood. It felt cool.

Where was the smoke coming from, then? She looked around again, squinting; her eyes were starting to tear up, but the clouds didn’t seem quite as dense.
The smoke seemed thickest right above her bed – was the mattress on fire? But it hadn’t felt warm when she first woke up, or at least no warmer than normal.

It didn’t make any sense, but she was starting to feel dizzy, and knew she had already waited too long. She flung open the door and plunged out into the hallway.

Smoke billowed out behind her, filling the corridor around her.

Mom!” she yelled again.

“What?” came her mother’s voice, from somewhere in the direction of the stairs. She sounded annoyed.

“Fire!” Alicia called, before being overcome by a fresh bout of coughing.

“What?” The tone was very different this time, and the word was followed by the sound of rapid footsteps as Alicia’s mother ran up the stairs. “Oh, my God! Are you all right?”

“Call the fire…!” Alicia managed, before coughing cut her off again.

“Get out of there, Ali!”

Alicia was dazed and dizzy, but that penetrated her mental haze. She looked back over her shoulder at the smoke rolling out of her bedroom, then got to her feet and ran, stooped over, for the stairs.

She was already out on the lawn, straightening up and trying to get her coughing under control, when her mother finally managed to call 911. Smoke of various colors was pouring from the eaves and upstairs windows, blending into the surprisingly dense morning fog, but Alicia still saw no flame anywhere, and as she watched the smoke seemed to lessen.

Queen of the Night

I’m experiencing technical problems with the tape recorder, so no more music reports yet. Instead here’s another opening. This time it’s not part of a series, just a story that insisted I start writing it. It hasn’t insisted I finish it, though…

Dan Calvert was up late, finishing a report for one of his more annoying clients, when he heard a sound from his daughter’s bedroom. He looked up from the keyboard.

He wasn’t sure exactly what to call the sound – a whoosh, perhaps? It wasn’t anything he could identify immediately. It sounded as if it might be caused by a vacuum cleaner or a water pipe doing something peculiar. He was fairly sure that it wasn’t a sound that should be coming from Ali’s bedroom at half past midnight.

He glanced down at the computer. The report wasn’t due until Monday; he just hadn’t wanted it hanging over him during the weekend. It could wait overnight for a final polish. He saved his work, then got up and walked down the hall to the door of Ali’s room, where he put his ear to the painted wood and listened for a moment.

He didn’t hear anything.

Maybe it had been something caught in a vent – but the furnace wasn’t running. Or maybe it had been something falling, perhaps one of the posters over Ali’s bed. Dan frowned, hesitated, then carefully and silently turned the knob.

Ali was sixteen, and as jealous of her privacy as any teenager, but surely it would do no harm to glance in and make sure she was okay. He opened the door a crack and peered into the dark room.

At least it was dark; she wasn’t sitting up late. There was no glow of a TV or computer screen, just her alarm clock’s red digits reading 12:27. Nothing was obviously out of place in the sliver he could see.

He pushed the door open a little wider, and let light from the hallway spill in.

The posters were still in place; there was her bed, nothing on it that shouldn’t be…

But it was empty.

Dan blinked.

Maybe she got up to use the bathroom, he thought. Maybe that was the noise he had heard. He turned and looked across the hall.

The bathroom door stood wide open, and the bathroom was dark. Ali wasn’t in it. He turned back to the bedroom and looked in again, thrusting his head in through the crack.

She was definitely not in the bed; the blanket was pulled up, but no one was under it.

She wasn’t at her desk, or sitting in the chair in the corner, either. Baffled and concerned, Dan stepped into the room and looked around.

Ali wasn’t anywhere.

He flipped on the light, but his daughter did not magically appear; with the light on the bed was still empty, the desk deserted, the chair unoccupied. Ali was not standing in one of the corners.

Both worried and annoyed, Dan crossed the room and yanked open the closet door, revealing a lot of dirty laundry flung on the closet floor, but no sign of his missing daughter.

“Ali?” he said.

No one answered.

Feeling foolish, Dan knelt down and looked under the bed, discovering several forgotten CDs, an old pizza box, and a healthy crop of dust bunnies, but no teenage girl.

She was gone; there was simply no doubt of it.

Could she have crept down to the kitchen for a late snack, perhaps? That would have taken her right past the nook where he had been working, but he had been pretty involved in that stupid report; it wasn’t totally beyond the realm of possibility that she had walked right past him without being noticed. He left the room, turned off the light and shut the door, and walked quickly down the stairs to the kitchen.

No sign of her.

It would seem she had snuck out of the house.

That was bad. That was very bad. It also didn’t seem like her at all – and that made it even worse, since it meant that Dan didn’t know his daughter as well as he had thought he did.

Then an even worse possibility struck him, and he hurried back upstairs to her room, this time not bothering to be quiet about it.

The windows were both securely locked. No one had broken in and dragged her out.

That was some relief, but not much. She had left under her own power – if she hadn’t gone out the window, then she would have had to have gone past where he was working to leave the house, and there was simply no way that could possibly have happened if she hadn’t gone willingly.

Now the obvious question was what he should do about it.

The obvious answer was to wake up his wife and tell her, but he really hated that idea. Ali and Sue hadn’t been getting along very well of late – nothing serious, so far as he knew, just the normal teenage mother-daughter stuff, with Sue worrying about Ali’s friends and grades and behavior, and Ali feeling that she was constantly being nagged and picked on, but still, there had been enough conflict that Dan really didn’t want to wake Sue unless he had to. In fact, waking Sue up for any reason was usually a bad idea; she was not a person who handled disturbed sleep well at all.

And he certainly couldn’t call the police without first waking Sue up and conferring. If he did call the cops, and Ali turned up ten minutes later, or was found alive and well sleeping over at a friend’s house…

But she wasn’t sleeping at a friend’s house, or at least she wasn’t supposed to be. She had eaten dinner with Dan and Sue, and they had all watched “Once Upon A Time” together even though it was a rerun.

That hardly seemed like someone who was about to run away from home, and honestly, Dan couldn’t think of any reason Ali would want to run away. He and Sue weren’t perfect as parents, but they weren’t monsters, either, and the tension between Ali and Sue hadn’t seemed anywhere near running away level stuff.

Slipping out with friends on a dare, or meeting some boyfriend – that, Dan could believe, though he hadn’t known about any boyfriends at the moment. It seemed likely to him that Ali would be back safe and sound later tonight.
That left him two choices – well, more than that, really, but two he seriously considered.

First, he could go to bed and pretend he had never noticed she was gone, and if she was back in the morning he could talk to her privately later and find out what the story was.

Second, he could stay up until she came in, and have that talk right away.
That, he decided, was the way to go. He would get a book and catch up on his reading, there in her room.

Five minutes later he was settled on the chair in the corner with a John Grisham novel.

By two a.m. he was having trouble staying awake; he would find himself reading the same paragraph three or four times. He decided that wasn’t going to work. He got up, stretched, and went down to the kitchen, where he made a pot of coffee. While it was brewing he put the book away and fished yesterday’s newspaper from the trash – working the sudoku puzzle ought to be better than reading, he thought.

He wasn’t very good at puzzles, but an hour later he had finished both the puzzle and a cup of coffee, and Ali had still not reappeared.

He once again debated waking Sue, but now he really didn’t want to – she would demand to know why he hadn’t done so at 12:30, rather than three in the morning, and he didn’t have a good answer.

He drank another cup of coffee and tackled the novel again, and this time made some real headway – either the caffeine had kicked in or he had his second wind, he wasn’t sure. All the same, at about a quarter to five he decided he didn’t care whether the hero won his case, and put the book aside.
He had thought Ali would be back by now. He was not at all happy that she wasn’t. He wasn’t happy about any of this. He had thought she knew better than to do anything like this without at least leaving a note. He stood and stretched, and looked out the window.

The eastern sky was starting to lighten. The sun would be up soon, and his daughter was still out there somewhere instead of safe in her bed. He really should have wakened Sue in the first place, he decided. He turned and took a step toward the bedroom door.

There was a dull thump, and Ali was lying on the bed, wearing a flannel nightgown that had been a hand-me-down from her mother. She was lying on top of the blanket, not tucked in.

On A Field Sable

This one I’ve been working on for some time now; I’ve written over 200 pages.

Mareet found herself looking up at a man’s face, but it was neither her father’s, nor that of Lord Salchen, the sorcerer to whom she was to be apprenticed. This was a stranger’s face, broad and bearded and blond, with intensely blue eyes that were staring into her own. His skin seemed unnaturally pale, though a slight flush reddened his brow, and his deep-set eyes appeared almost inhumanly large.

“Father?” she asked, turning her head away from that fearsome gaze, trying to make sense of her surroundings. She was not sure whether she had just awakened, or undergone some more curious transition. Her memories seemed oddly fragmented and uncertain, and she had no idea where she was, or how she came to be there.

“No,” the blond stranger said gently, in a voice that did not match his strong features. Despite his foreign complexion he spoke flawless, unaccented Walasian. “I am Barzal of Blackfield, and I have just bought your contract from Lord Salchen.”

“But… where’s Father, then? He was to negotiate the terms.” She did not look at the blond man, but at the room in which she found herself.

She was in a stone chamber, one that looked somehow familiar, though she could not remember where or how she might have seen it before. Sunlight slanted through a row of windows in one wall, illuminating rich red-and-gold carpets and a row of heavy chairs of what appeared to be finely-carved walnut, but the light brought little warmth. A strange, acrid odor hung in the cool air.

She was sitting in one of the chairs, slumped down in it, her hands clutching the arm-rests, and the big blond man was standing just a foot or two in front of her, looking down at her with an expression of concern. He was, she realized vaguely, finely dressed, in green velvet and yellow satin, and carrying a carved walking stick.

At one end of the room, a dozen feet away, stood a black-robed, black-haired figure – Lord Salchen, she belatedly realized. He looked somehow different than he had when last she saw him…

“Your father isn’t here,” Barzal said. “This isn’t what you think; it isn’t when you think. I’m afraid I’ve taken the liberty of erasing your memories of the last two or three years. This is the fourteenth day of autumn in the twenty-third year of the Emperor at Lume.”

Her eyes turned forward and upward and met his again. “No, it’s the seventeenth of spring in the twenty-first – ” she began.

“No,” he interrupted firmly. “It isn’t. You simply don’t remember the two and a half years you have dwelt here.”

The Siege of Vair

Here’s another opening scene.

Virit looked up as another fireball came over the wall. She paused and watched as it arced across the sky, trying to estimate where it was going to hit. The catapult crew had probably been aiming for the market square, but even Virit, who was not at all familiar with the city, could see they had missed badly; the fireball sailed well beyond the market. She tried to remember what lay in that direction, and guessed it was headed toward the street of the jewelers.

She supposed that jewelers, due to the nature of their business, generally had good protective spells, but someone should still do something…

But then a dozen voices called, and alarm bells sounded, and Virit decided she was not needed. The locals could take care of themselves. She turned and resumed her interrupted journey, back to their lodging.

Zalgar ti-Partha was standing in the door of his shop, staring down the street, watching people hurry past. When he saw Virit he waved. “What’s happening?” he demanded.

“Another fireball,” Virit told him, pointing. “Down that way, maybe near the jewelers.”

“But the gates are still shut?”

“So far as I know, yes.” Virit did not stop as she answered the old man’s questions, but rounded the corner and hurried up the stairs that led from the alley to the rooms above the shop, lifting her skirts so she would not trip on them.

The door was unlocked, and she stepped in to find her grandfather seated in the big rocking chair by the front window while their host, her distant cousin Burud kif-Lessi, stood beside him and stared out at the street. He turned as Virit entered. “I heard the alarms,” he said. “What happened?”

“Fireball,” Virit said, as she tried to catch her breath.

“Where?” Burud asked.

“I suppose they were aiming at the foundries,” her grandfather said.

“No, Grandfather,” she said. “I think it came down near the street of jewelers.”

“They don’t want to damage the foundries,” Burud said patiently. “That’s what they want for themselves. Capturing them intact is the whole point of the siege.”

“Hmph.” The old man turned to his granddaughter. “What did the captain say?”

Virit hesitated, then admitted, “He wouldn’t talk to me.

Her grandfather straightened in his chair. “What?”

“He wouldn’t talk to me. He sent me to talk to a lieutenant – Lieutenant Aggris. I told him I represented a visiting dignitary, and he said he didn’t care who I was; he took his orders from the Master of the City, and nobody else.” She did not mention the open contempt that both the captain and the lieutenant had displayed when she said she was speaking on behalf of an Elder of the Surushalla; that would do nothing but upset her grandfather.

She saw the expression on Burud’s face, though, and thought he could guess what had happened.

“You told them who I am?”

“Of course, Grandfather. I used your full title.”

“You told them we are Surushalla of the mountains, and not the decadent knaves who live in their filthy city?”

Burud’s mouth tightened, and it was at just that moment that his assistant, Ganur kif-Tsashu, appeared in the kitchen doorway holding a teapot in one hand and a stack of cups in the other. He exchanged glances with his master, then cleared his throat. “Tea, anyone?”

“Yes, please,” Virit said, before either Burud or her grandfather could say anything that might antagonize the other. “Let me help.” She hurried to take the cups.

As she and Ganur poured, she said, “Grandfather, I told them exactly who you are. They said it didn’t matter. Nobody goes in or out of the city without the Master’s permission. They said that if you want to leave, you’ll need to talk to him or his courtiers, not the soldiers at the gate.”

“It’s foolishness! We have nothing to do with this war.”

“I don’t think they care, Grandfather.”

“Of course they don’t, Elder,” Burud said. “They’re concerned with their city, not with us. It’s not as if you were the Walasian ambassador; you’re just a tribal leader from up in the mountains, visiting his cousin. You claim to be a dignitary, but you didn’t present yourself at court.”

“Why should I?” the old man demanded, thumping his fist on the arm of the rocking chair. “I didn’t come here to trade compliments with some confounded Chordravine overlord! I came to discuss the future of our people.”

“And that’s the problem, Elder Turunis,” Ganur said. “The Master doesn’t care any more about you than you care about him, and opening the sally port for any reason could be dangerous.”

“Hmph,” the old man said again. “Then we’ll talk to this Master.” He turned to Burud. “Arrange it, Burud.”

Swordsmen of the Fallen Empire

A change of pace tonight — the opening scene of a novel I’m working on.

Footsteps echoed from the marble walls as the two men strode along the gallery, their red cloaks billowing behind them. The older man glanced at his companion, at the youth’s eager expression. This was still all new to him, new and exciting.

The younger man noticed the other’s gaze, and broke into a grin.

“Now, now,” the older man said. “Let’s try to maintain decorum, shall we?”

“Yes, sir,” the younger replied, trying to smother his smile.

Then they were at the door they sought, and turned to face it. Both men composed themselves, straightened their cloaks, threw back their shoulders; then the elder rapped sharply on the polished wood, three quick knocks.

“Who is it?” a woman’s voice called from within.

“Guards!” the elder answered.

“You may enter.”

The elder swung the door open, then led the way into the sunny, richly-appointed salon. Three women were clustered in the center of the room, two seated on a small couch and the third standing close by. All were young, beautiful, and dressed in wonderful flowing gowns, but one of the seated pair was clearly in charge, and the other two her attendants. A gentle spring breeze stirred the gauzy draperies that hung in the doorway to the balcony.

“Your highness,” the elder guard said, with a sweeping bow. The younger hastily bowed, as well.

“Ah, Third,” the woman said. “Who is this?”

The elder guard straightened, but did not reply; instead he stared straight ahead, stone-faced. The two attendants looked puzzled by his silence, glancing from him to their mistress.

She cocked her head to one side, so that a torrent of silky black hair spilled across her shoulder, then smiled. “My apologies – I had forgotten the date. Second, is it?”

“Yes, your highness.” The elder guard relaxed and smiled, then turned to his companion. “Allow me to present the Sixth of our order. Sixth, may I present her highness Princess Sharva, the granddaughter of our beloved Emperor.”

“Welcome to our household!” The woman rose to her feet with a single graceful movement, and held out her hand.

The younger guard stepped forward, knelt, and kissed her fingers. He was mildly surprised to see she wore no rings or bracelets, but naturally did not let that surprise show.

“Rise, guardsman!”

The Sixth obeyed, clicking his heels and coming to attention.

“So you’ve only just given up your name, and begun your tuition?” the princess asked.

“Yes, your highness,” he answered.

“You have thirty years of service ahead of you. That must be a daunting prospect.”

“Not at all, your highness. I look forward to every minute of it.”

She smiled, then she turned her attention to the elder guard. “And why have the two of you come to see me today?”

“Primarily to present our new Sixth, your highness,” the Second said, with a wave at his protege. “It will be his duty to guard you in the event of any disturbance. But also, your highness, I came to report that there is a disturbance on the Promenade. As yet we do not believe there is any danger, to you or anyone else, but matters may develop quickly. It’s possible that it may become advisable to leave your apartments on short notice, so we ask that you do not involve yourself in anything that would make a quick departure inconvenient – a bath, for example.”

The two attendants exchanged worried glances, but neither of them spoke. They had not said a word since the guard’s knock.

The princess frowned. “What sort of disturbance?”

“Nothing new, your highness,” the Second replied. “People are concerned about the recent disappearances, and are demanding the government do something – bring back the missing, provide an explanation, something.”

“I don’t blame them,” Sharva said. “I find the disappearances worrisome myself.”

“Then you don’t know what’s causing them?” the Sixth asked.

She shook her head. “No, of course not,” she said.

“If you will forgive me, your highness, none of the rest of your family seems very concerned,” Second said. “I had assumed they knew something the rest of us do not.”

The princess grimaced. “If they do, they have not deigned to inform me of it.” She shook her head. “I agree they do not seem worried, but I don’t know why. Much as I love them, I sometimes find my father’s family hard to understand. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit it, but I think I take more after my mother. Wizards often baffle me as much as they baffle anyone.”

“But…” Sixth began, then stopped, looking confused.

Sharva smiled at him again, and leaned in close. “You know, Sixth, as a member of the Imperial Guards you’ll be expected to keep many secrets.”

“Yes, your highness.”

“Well, here’s one of them – I’m not much of a wizard. Oh, I can do a few spells, but no more than some of the better sorcerers.”

“But… you’re the Emperor’s granddaughter.”

“Yes, I am. And my father is a mighty wizard indeed, as is my uncle, the heir to the throne. But whatever you may have heard to the contrary, my mother is merely human, with no magical ability whatsoever, and as I said a moment ago, I seem to take after her. My brother is more fortunate, and seems to have a gift for magic, but even a simple binding can confound me.”

The Sixth’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again. “Yes, your highness,” he said.

“Come on, then,” the princess said, turning toward the balcony doors. “Let us take a look at this disturbance.”

“Your highness, I am not sure that is wise,” Second said.

“It probably isn’t,” Sharva replied, without looking back. “I’m going to do it anyway.”

On the Nature of Memory

I’m not sure what my earliest memory is, but I do remember this:

When I was four or five — I know I was at least four because we were living in the house in Bedford, and I know I was no older than five because I couldn’t read yet — I was poking around in my parents’ bedroom. My mother had a fancy, if somewhat battered, vanity table in the French Empire style, painted cream with “gold” trim, with a big trifold mirror, and with three drawers, one under each mirror panel. There was a big drawer in the middle, and much smaller drawers on either side. I was looking for something in the left-hand drawer.

I don’t know what I was looking for, or why, or whether I had my parents’ permission to be in there at all. I might have been after one of these odd hair curlers my mother had that I thought made great toys, or maybe I was just seeing what was there. In any case, I found a picture postcard. I didn’t recognize the picture, couldn’t even figure out exactly what it was a picture of, but it seemed familiar. There were bands of bright color against a dark background, and I had the definite feeling I’d seen those colors before.

So I took the postcard to my mother and asked what it was, and why it seemed familiar. She told me that it was the lights on Niagara Falls at night, and she didn’t know for sure why it would be familiar, but that we had all visited Niagara Falls when I was two, and had seen the colored lights shining on the falls, so maybe I was remembering that.

Or not, because, you know, I was two at the time. I certainly didn’t remember anything else prior to the summer of 1958, when I turned four, but maybe, maybe the sight of Niagara Falls at night had impressed me enough that I still remembered it.

I decided that sounded good, so when asked I would sometimes say that my earliest memory was seeing Niagara Falls when I was two.

But I don’t think I really remembered it even then, and I certainly don’t really remember it now. It’s possible that what I actually remembered on that long-ago afternoon was seeing the postcard before. Or it might have been something else entirely — colored lights in the darkness might have been the big Christmas tree on the town common a block from our house, for example. It might have been a picture in a book. Or it could have been pure fantasy; maybe that feeling of familiarity had no actual basis in fact at all.

So maybe my earliest memory was seeing Niagara Falls when I was two, but does it count when the actual memory is long gone, so I only remember remembering it?

And then there’s another memory that might be my earliest. It’s from early in the summer of 1958; I don’t know exactly when.

At the beginning of that summer we were living in a peculiar house on the outskirts of Billerica, Massachusetts. We had a big yard, maybe an acre or so, so most of the neighbors weren’t all that close, but to the south our next-door neighbor was just across a gravel driveway and a strip of lawn. The family there had a little girl not too far from me in age; I don’t recall her name, but I’m pretty sure she was a year or two older than me.

We had, in my parents’ bedroom, a device called an Aircrib, but more commonly known as a Skinner baby box, that my father had built from a kit. This was a climate-controlled enclosure where a baby could sleep without being troubled by changes in temperature, loud noises, airborne infections, etc. My baby sister slept in it. It had a roller system so that soiled bedding could be pulled out from under the baby without actually taking the kid out of the crib. The roller itself was a wooden rod painted blue, maybe three feet long.

I have a very clear memory of holding that blue rod with both hands, swinging it over my head, and chasing the girl from next door, intending to whack her over the head with it as hard as I could. I remember rounding the corner of the house, chasing her across the lawn. I still remember this very clearly — the bright blue rod, the rich green grass, the girl’s dark hair bouncing as she ran.

But it never happened. Ever. Nothing remotely like it. I handled the rod once or twice, but never outdoors, probably never outside my parents’ bedroom. I never chased or hit the girl next door — heck, we were friends, more or less. As near as I can determine, I dreamed this one night in 1958, and for some reason that stuck more than anything real that happened before mid-July of that year.

So can a dream count as my earliest memory? I definitely remember it, and I can definitely, irrefutably date it to sometime between May and mid-July of 1958, but it’s something that didn’t happen anywhere but in my head.

I specify mid-July because that’s when my very first absolutely inarguable memory is from: my fourth birthday party. I remember the cake with pink icing (I had insisted on pink over my mother’s objection), and the sugar-candy candle holders, and… well, not much else, actually.

I also remember an incident from August of 1958, when we were getting ready to move to Bedford; it happened on a visit to the house we were in the process of buying. I mention it because for years my parents denied that it ever happened, which confused me.

I’m not clear on exactly why we were visiting the house. It was apparently during school hours or something, because my older siblings weren’t there; my younger sister was only seventeen months old and spent the whole visit in our mother’s arms. My parents were meeting with the women (mother and daughter) who were selling us the house and had brought their two youngest along, and it was my first look at what was going to be our new home, so I was pretty excited. We walked through the big double doors into the front hall, and I looked around, and one thing that really caught my eye was the hall light fixture. It had two pendants with glass shades, which had a brick pattern on the glass, and one light was yellow and the other was red, which I thought was very cool. I’d seen red bricks and yellow bricks, so it made sense.

So, we bought the house, we moved in, and the first thing I notice when we do is that now both front hall lights are yellow. I ask my parents what happened to the red one.

“What red one?” they say. “They’ve both always been yellow.”

I am very confused and a bit upset by this; I know one was red. I remember it clearly… just as I remember chasing the neighbor girl with that stick. Hmm.

They continue to deny there was ever a red light there, so I eventually decide my memory is playing tricks on me.

And then years later — many years later, a decade or more — my mother casually mentions in passing that she can’t imagine why the Harleys (the people who sold us the house) had put a red bulb in one of the hall lights. It had made people’s faces look weird, and she had insisted my father replace it with a white one before we moved in.

I stare at her in disbelief. “You said there was never a red light there!”

Flustered, she says she had only insisted there was never a red glass shade. Both shades were always yellow. One just looked red because it had a red bulb in it.

So my memory was not wrong that time, but I had been convinced it was.

And my point is simply that memory can’t be trusted.

The coming of Vika’s Avenger!

Well, I’ve gone and done it — I’ve just launched my Kickstarter campaign to finance the publication of my science-fantasy novel, Vika’s Avenger. You can get the details on the Kickstarter page, but here’s a little about it:

On a distant planet, 12,000 years in the future, a country boy named Tulzik Ambroz comes to the ancient city of Ragbaan seeking the man who killed his sister Vika. Ragbaan’s civilization has risen to astonishing heights of power and technology several times — and then collapsed each time, so that now most of the city is abandoned and empty, and the three million remaining inhabitants make no distinction between magic and technology. How can a stranger, with only a portrait his sister drew to identify his quarry, hope to find a single individual in such a place?

And if he does find him, what will he do about it?

If you want to have a chance to read the story, come pledge something. You have just thirty days.

State of the Art

I was out of the house for four hours today, and we had a houseguest (though I’m cheating by counting him, since he left before I got up), so my daily four-page writing quota doesn’t apply, and instead of attempting to meet it anyway, I’ve decided to type up a summary of the state of my art, i.e., my writing career. Because it’s gotten kind of complicated, and there’s some news in there.

I have of late been reading up a little on the current state of fiction publishing; a good example of what I’ve found is “Escaping Stockholm”.  (Actually, it’s not typical; it’s better than most.)

What Judy Tarr describes here is quite close to my own experience — decades of publishing successfully, and then a few years ago everything blew up. I’ve been trying to find my footing in the new world ever since, without much success.

There’s also Tobias Buckell’s piece on survivorship bias.

And Harry Connolly’s reactions, starting here.

What do I conclude from this? That I’m probably never going to settle back in to a comfortable niche with a New York publisher, and I’m not going to get rich self-publishing. Which I’d already suspected.

But I am, in Harry’s terms, a lucky guy — I throw lots of stuff out there, seeing what sticks, hoping something will take off. Sometimes something does stick, as the Ethshar serials have, though nothing’s really taken off.

So what have I tried since Tor dropped me, what am I trying, what might I try in the future? Anything and everything, pretty much.

I’ve been writing in several genres, some of which don’t really even have names, and I’m thinking that maybe I should try even more, as more of that luck-seeking behavior. I wrote a dark urban fantasy, One-Eyed Jack; a 19th-century adventure novel, Tom Derringer and the Aluminum Airship; a science-fantasy detective/revenge story, Vika’s Avenger; and a YA contemporary fantasy, Graveyard Girl.

All of these, by the way, stand alone but could become series — I wasn’t about to close off any avenues if something took off.

I’m also working on more traditional SF and fantasy, though I haven’t yet finished any of those except the Ethshar novels, The Unwelcome Warlock and The Sorcerer’s Widow.

Oh, and there’s non-fiction, in the form of Mind Candy.

Those last three went to Wildside Press, because that’s an easy and comfortable solution and I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to get rich off any of them anyway.

I self-published One-Eyed Jack. Everyone was talking about how much potential there is in self-publishing now. Well, I’m with Tobias Buckell on this one — even as an established author, I’m out on the low end of the curve, along with thousands of other people.

So I figured I’d try Kickstarter with Vika’s Avenger, and I’m still planning to, but I am not at all optimistic about it, because I’ve looked at the numbers. Novels have been one of the least-successful categories on Kickstarter, and tend to not bring in much money over goal even when they meet their targets. That’s why I didn’t push ahead with my original plan to launch in March — I looked at the numbers.

There’s been an interesting side-effect there, though. I talked to a social-media expert back in December, who pointed out something I already knew but hadn’t thought about very much, i.e., people browsing the web are attracted by graphics, not text. I need graphics if I want a successful Kickstarter campaign; the video, in particular, is important. So I’ve been working on my video (in iMovie), kludging it up in my spare time, and I asked my fans on Facebook for volunteers to provide images I could use. I got a couple — and one of them was so much more visually imaginative in its depiction of Ragbaan than what I’d had in my head that I’m seriously considering writing another draft to incorporate some of that cool imagery.

I’m now hoping to get the video done in the next week or two, and to launch the Kickstarter campaign in mid-June; then as soon as it’s done I’d launch the next Ethshar serial, Ishta’s Companion, on my own website. Maybe find a way to cross-promote them. I may not get much writing done for awhile; I’ll probably be spending all my time on the web.

Meanwhile, Tom Derringer and the Aluminum Airship is languishing on an editor’s desk, and I’m debating whether to withdraw it (it’s been there for several months, which I assume is a pocket rejection) or not. If I do, I’ll be looking for some non-traditional way to publish it; don’t yet know what.

Graveyard Girl came back from my agent with a long missive pointing out the weaknesses in the story, and I really ought to revise and expand it to fix those, but I haven’t yet figured out what the new ending should be.

So, my writing isn’t going much of anywhere; what about publishing? I’ve been self-publishing under the name Misenchanted Press, and maybe I should try publishing other people’s stuff. I came up with the idea of a line of “Misenchanted Classics” — obscure SF/fantasy novels I’d loved as a kid that had been out of print for decades.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the first or even second person to think of that; every novel I wanted for the line but one is either back in print or about to be, from one small press or another. The exception is represented by an agent who has ignored my emails.

But on the other hand, while I never landed any of my childhood favorites, I am pleased to announce that I’ve just signed a contract with Stuart Hopen to publish a new, revised edition of his novel Warp Angel. He’s gotten the rights back from Tor, finally, and I have the revised text (he reworked the ending) in hand. I may also eventually be publishing a new novel by Christina Briley, The Raven Coronet, though that’s much less definite, as she’s rewriting it again.

I’ve also recently signed a contract to co-write a game-based serial novel, but I can’t say anything more, because the contract included a page or two of non-disclosure agreements that I haven’t yet read in detail. The pay on this isn’t much, really, but I’m hoping it’ll be fun, and the first check arrived and has been deposited.

Another minor item: My article “The Other Guys,” about pre-Comics Code horror comics not published by the infamous EC Comics, which was originally published in The Scream Factory and recently reprinted in Alter Ego, is going to be split in half and used as the introductions for two books reprinting pre-Code comics. These nice little windfalls do turn up sometimes. We’ve agreed on terms, haven’t yet signed a contract or check.

And as I’ve reported online, I have a score or more of novels in progress. It’s just today occurred to me that if I’m going to be ignoring genre restrictions and not even pretending to try to sell it to a New York publishing house, I could even write Fast Times — that started
out as a proposal I sent DC Comics for a “Flash” spin-off mini-series,
but it mutated, as my stories usually do, and wound up a weird, impossible-to-classify thing.

Anyway. So far, I’ve had my greatest non-traditional success with the Ethshar serials, so I’m thinking maybe I should just focus on serials — not just Ethshar, necessarily. Maybe Tom Derringer would work as a serial. (If I could find an enthusiastic illustrator, I’m pretty sure it could — airships! Mexican jungles!)

I dunno. I’m just trying everything I can think of, hoping something will take off. We’ll see what happens.

A Little Chit-Chat: Two Topics

First: Writing

I’ve been working seriously on five different novels lately — Ishta’s Companion (an Ethshar novel that’s been in the works under various titles for more than twenty years), The Innkeeper’s Daughter (a fantasy with romantic elements I started on a whim last year), On A Field Sable (third in the Bound Lands series, after A Young Man Without Magic and Above His Proper Station), Stone Unturned (a big complicated Ethshar story), and Graveyard Girl (a young adult novel about a girl with a specialized psychic power). That’s not counting assorted revisions, proofs, editing, etc. People have asked me how I can do that, work on five at once — how can I keep them all straight? Why don’t I focus on one?

The answer is, I don’t know how I do it, or even really why. I learned to work on two novels at once back in the late 1980s, so if I hit a slow patch on one I could switch to the other for awhile and refresh myself; I did that fairly often, though not all the time. Typically one would be Ethshar, and one would be something else. I once tried working on three simultaneously, and back then it didn’t work, I’d lose track of things and get confused — so why is it working now? I dunno. Practice, maybe. I know that not only am I now able to juggle five, I could actually handle more — I deliberately cut the number down to five awhile back because I was working on so many at once that none of them was making much headway. I counted eighteen at one point that were nominally active works in progress, though I wasn’t actually getting much of anywhere on several of them.

How can I do that? No idea. It just happens. Sometimes when I switch from one to the next I need to re-read a little to remind myself where I was, but the voice and storyline are all there in my head, ready to go.

Why am I doing it? Well, mostly, I think, because I don’t have a reliable major market at present. For most of my thirty-five years of writing novels professionally, I’ve had books under contract to a publisher, so I worked on those. When I didn’t actually have a contract, I still knew more or less what the market wanted. After Tor cut me loose by rejecting On A Field Sable, though, I didn’t know what would or wouldn’t sell, so I’ve been trying lots of different things, and so far most of them haven’t worked. No major publisher was interested in One-Eyed Jack or Vika’s Avenger. Tom Derringer and the Aluminum Airship is still out there, but the prospects don’t look good. My agent had ideas about what he could sell for me, but they mostly didn’t mesh with what I wanted to write. (Graveyard Girl is the exception, but I’ve been working on that for three years now and it still isn’t finished because I ran into plot problems and it’s hard for a guy in his fifties to write from the point of view of a contemporary fifteen-year-old girl, especially when the story’s all about coming to terms with death.)

So I’ve been jumping around, looking for something that would reconnect with the market. Why I haven’t focused on one project at a time I couldn’t really tell you.

At this point, I’d really like to get some of these done, and off the list — partly so I can get back to others I put aside when I cut the list from eighteen to five. I’d like to work on The Dragon’s Price, for example, or Earthright, but am resisting until I finish one of the five.

Second: Travel

On a whim, we spent last weekend in Rhode Island — mostly Newport, looking at the “summer cottages” of the rich and famous of a century ago, but with a couple of stops in Providence, as well. Toured five mansions in Newport — the Elms, the Breakers, Chateau-sur-Mer, Rosecliff, and Marble House.

The variety was interesting. Rosecliff was designed entirely to throw lavish parties in — the whole house is built around the magnificent ballroom. The “marble” facade is fake — it’s terra cotta. There have been some major movies that used Rosecliff when they needed a lush 1920s ballroom. The original owner, a silver heiress named Theresa Fair Oelrichs, intended to establish herself in high society simply by throwing the best parties, and seems to have succeeded — though when the Gilded Age passed and such entertainments were no longer the thing, she went a bit dotty and died relatively young.

Marble House was built entirely to show off — the people who grew up in it hated it and found it depressing, because it wasn’t really meant to be lived in, it was meant to impress people. Each room was a recreation of a particular era in French design, all of them overblown. Alva Vanderbilt, who built Marble House, may have been important in the women’s suffrage movement, but she was apparently a pretty horrible person.

The other three were all actual homes; yes, they were meant to impress people, but they were also meant to be comfortable places to live in and raise kids. The Breakers, built by Cornelius Vanderbilt II, is the best of them. The people who grew up summering there, or at the Elms, remember them very fondly.

Chateau-sur-Mer, the oldest of them, was the only one meant for year-round living; the others were just for the summer.

It was an entertaining trip — and since I’m currently writing scenes set in huge upper-class estates in On A Field Sable, the whole thing is legitimate research and therefore tax deductible!